Are You Testing the Spirits?

  1.  Pyschics don’t have gifts, they have a

 

SPIRIT OF DIVINATION, A LYING SPIRIT.

(Acts 16:16)

 

 

2.  Prophets who speak from their hearts use this spirit of divination, and the Lord is against them.  Ezekial 13

 

3.  When you hear a voice in your head, and you think the Holy Spirit is speaking to you or nudging you….how do you know it’s from the Lord??

 

This video below was helpful to me about Testing the Spirits:

 

 

 

 

Yoga & Hinduism=Inextricably Linked

Here’s an excerpt from The Encyclopedia of New Age Beliefs by John Ankerberg.

He studied this stuff extensively back in the 70s when it first came to the forefront.

 

The gist is that:

It’s impossible to separate the practice of yoga and the intent of yoga..which is to awaken ‘psychic energy’ to achieve enlightenment & blend with the universe..realizing inner divinity. 

I have an online friend in India, who is a former Hindu, and is now on fire for Jesus.  He is grieved at the rate the West is adopting Hinduism through yoga. He can’t believe it actually.

 

Please share with anyone who has been lied to and is practicing yoga without realizing the true nature of it. A sincere Christian who knows the Truth about yoga…has a choice to make.  Will they serve the Lord their Savior and obey His decrees not to engage in spiritism, or will they ‘do as they wilt’?

 

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All Twin Flames are Demonic Strongholds

Just because we feel a strong connection with someone does NOT mean that connection is from the Lord. I promise you.

What if I told you that Satan can plant lust, longing, and romantic obsession in our hearts? When left unchecked, it grows into a deep STRONGHOLD.

We are told to guard our hearts in the Bible.

Our hearts are deceitful, which means they can be compromised and deceive us. Yes, Jesus has taken away our heart of stone and given us a new heart of flesh with the gospel written on it. YET, we are to guard that new heart of flesh! Hallelujah!

How do we guard it?

We speak God’s truth to every lie. Hold each thought hostage. Truly, this is a daily battle that we have to know God’s word to speak God’s truth to each HALF-TRUTH that Satan tries to use to plant seeds of doubt in our brain.

 

Stay in the Bible.

 

TEST THE SPIRITS.

 

Pray: LORD, IF THIS DESIRE IS NOT FROM YOU….PLEASE TAKE IT AWAY. AMEN.  

 

Examine the fruits of this romance. Is this person a professing servant of Jesus Christ?  If so, what are their fruits? Do they follow the Lord’s decrees, or do they do what they want and then repent? Are they following the True Jesus or a false christ?  

Are they bringing you closer to the TRUE Jesus, or are you getting lukewarm and longing to do worldly things like get drunk, have sex, lust, idolize yourself and worldly things, etc.

 

***THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO THOSE WHO WERE ALREADY MARRIED WHEN THEY WERE SAVED. We can stay with our spouse and pray they come to the faith.

***DISCLAIMER:  I’m not saying we need to stay with our spouse, just that it’s not a sin to stay.  If your spouse is abusive, that’s another matter. Please consult a pastor about this if your spouse is abusive.

 

“How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?”
1 Corinthians 7:16

“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in the world already. Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. They are from the world; therefore they speak from the world, and the world listens to them. We are from God. Whoever knows God listens to us; whoever is not from God does not listen to us. By this we know the Spirit of truth and the spirit of error.”  1 John 4

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23

“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”  Jeremiah 17:9

“Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.”  2 Corinthians 10:5

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Chapter 29: The Snare of Anger–How Jesus saved Me.

Chapter 29:  The Snare of Anger

“He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.”–Psalm 40:2

While all the complications were happening with my foot, I learned that my friend Reagan had also been dealing with strange health issues as well.  She had been in and out of the hospital for some internal issues to do with cysts in her uterus.  On top of that, she was getting dizzy and passing out at various points during her day.  All this was very distressing, but I had no way to help because I myself was stuck in Arkansas with a broken foot.  It was around this point that I began to wonder if Charlie’s ‘negative entities’ (demons) were attacking Reagan and myself.  Unsure how to even cope with this possibility, I tried to put it out of my mind.  However, I began to feel progressively more angry each and every day.  I couldn’t believe I was in this helpless of a position.

Believing the lie that my mother was to blame for all this negativity, my survival instincts started to scream at me to get out!  Get out of my mom’s house, escape her!  Around this time, I began to become verbally aggressive with my mother, and I started to actively hate her.  Everything she did just set me off, and we had loud screaming matches at least 2-3 times per day—all instigated by me.  I began to suspect that maybe she had lied to me about my childhood abuser, and maybe she was actually the abuser–all lies from Satan.  This made sense to me at the time because I hated her so much, and because she was always so depressed and that infected me with her sadness.  One night, things got so heated between us that I looked at her and decided to push her back towards the wall.

Even in my rage, I knew I would never hurt my mother.  I did want to scare her though, and shoving her towards a wall would not hurt her… but show her how angry I was.  However, even as I did this, I knew I had somehow crossed a line in my spirit.  I stood there in shock that I had actually laid hands on my own mother.

I knew right then that I had to get away from her if I was going to survive this period of my life.  I began to get online and try to search for homeless shelters for women or even hippie communes, anywhere I could live for barter.  It was a desperate attempt to just get away from my mom for even one minute.  She wasn’t working much at that time, so she was always home…and I felt suffocated from her constant presence.

What I didn’t know at the time was that my mom had completely had it with my anger, and she wanted to kick me out.  Knowing that I had nowhere to go, she felt completely trapped living with me as well. Everything I was feeling, she was feeling.    In total desperation, my mom had been praying and crying out to the Lord non-stop.  She was warring in the spirit for my salvation because she knew something wasn’t right, and she had never seen me act like this. 

Desperate for some sort of relief and healing from my anger, I began to become interested in the Quantum Healing Technique again.  I felt like if I could just figure out what happened in my past life, my higher self or an ascended being could heal me of all this pain.  Not having any money, I found an online Facebook group that did remote energy healings for students trying to learn these types of techniques.  A woman in the group offered to do a healing on me, and I agreed.  This wasn’t Quantum Healing, but this woman offered a compatible form of energy work that would access my deeper cells and memories and heal the trauma.  This woman instructed me to get comfortable and let the energy session take place.  For the first few minutes, I could actually feel the peace washing over me, and I knew this woman must have been a powerful healer.  I hoped she could fix all the brokenness in me.

However, after about five minutes, something began to change.  I suddenly had a horrible headache and began to feel absolutely nauseous, but something else was also happening that I couldn’t quite understand.  I suddenly had an overwhelmingly bad feeling come over me, a feeling of doom…of complete evil.

It made no sense to me at the time because I regarded energy work as the highest form of divine love and light.  I thought this was God’s energy flowing through my cells, healing me.  I began to panic and become afraid of the feeling coming over me.  I asked the practitioner if we could cut the healing session short, and she agreed.  She apologized, and felt really bad that I had experienced a negative reaction.  She didn’t understand why, but offered up the explanation that sometimes the healing can be too much for people.  However, I had never experienced such a strange reaction before from energy work.

At the time, I rationalized this as a sensitivity to another person’s energy, but now I know this to be an adverse reaction to demonic energy.  I was finally seeing the tip of the iceberg of what was going on.  These beings of ‘love and light’ were beginning to be revealed for the forces of darkness that they really were.

 

Something about this healing session set off a chain of events inside me that day.  I began to feel something shift in my mind, and I started to panic about my life.  I started to feel really confused in my mind after that session.

I don’t know how to explain it, but my thinking began to be unclear and I didn’t feel quite myself.  It felt as if there was a great evil that wanted to crawl inside my mind somehow, but that didn’t really make any sense to me at the time.  I was truly scared that I was losing my mind though, and my sanity felt shaky.  I recognized this feeling because I had experienced it once before in Seattle.  However, this time I didn’t think to rebuke it in Jesus’s name.  I couldn’t seem to formulate the thought to rebuke it or fight it.  It was too powerful this time, and I couldn’t fight it anymore.

I would later learn that this was demonic oppression, and that because I had been saved as a child I had the seal of the Holy Spirit upon me and could not be fully possessed by a demon.  However, demonic ‘oppression’ is constant harassment by demonic forces, and is just as terrifying.

The next few days, I began to feel out of control in every way.  The only solution I could think of was to grab my trusty Tarot deck for answersI knew the cards would give me some hope, a silver lining with this situation.  I couldn’t afford to call a psychic at this point, so I would have to rely on my own psychic powers to help me get out the mess my life had become.  As I started to shuffle the cards, I began to notice how desperate I felt.  I was sitting on my bed, frantically hoping the Tarot would show me something…some sort of answer or solution that I hadn’t thought of yet.  But it wasn’t showing me anything at all. I put the deck down, and started to cry out in total desperation and sadness at what my life had become, at who I had become.

Right at that exact moment is when I heard the words that would change my life forever.

 

“Let Me Help You.”

 

 

I didn’t wonder for one second what I had just heard.  Even in my confusion, I knew it was the King of Kings.  Jesus’s voice was unmistakable.  I didn’t for one second worry that I was ‘hearing voices’ or anything crazy like that.  I just knew that this was a miracle, and I couldn’t believe Jesus loved me enough to reach out to me.  I felt God’s presence in the room that day, and I knew the Most High had reached down into the slimy pit and pulled me out.  My spirit knew God’s voice instantly when I heard it.  It was a gentle loving voice.  God wasn’t rebuking me or angry with me; He just wanted to help pull me out of this mess I had created.  I got the sense that He had been waiting there all along for me to ask for help, and that I had been trying to do everything on my own for so long.  He was right there all along, but this was the right time that I was open enough to hear Him, to truly Listen with ‘Ears to Hear’.

“Let ME Help You”, Jesus said.  I heard the words ringing in my ears, and I immediately dropped the Tarot cards.

I knew I had heard the voice of the Lord Almighty.  I KNEW!!  I immediately kneeled down on my bed, boot cast and all…my spirit knew exactly what I needed to do—Repent.

I asked God for forgiveness for all that I had done.  I don’t know how to explain it other than my spirit knew that everything I had been dabbling in was against the Lord, that my willfulness and self-reliance was not His plan for me.  God wanted me to follow His will, not mine.

He had a better life for me than I had for myself.  I knelt beside my bed, and I prayed like I had never prayed before.  I prayed that day for God to forgive me and to make me Born Again. I prayed for Jesus Christ to make me new again and be the Lord of my life.  It was like God gave me the exact words I needed to repent and ask for new life.  After praying, I threw the Tarot deck in the trash.  I was done.  God had shown me that I was not supposed to be doing this any longer.

I don’t know how to explain the sudden knowledge that I received, but it was like a wave of understanding came over me–I would later learn this was a Holy Spirit Baptism.  In an instant, I was made aware of what my sins were.  I didn’t have a head knowledge of why these specific sins were not good yet, but I knew I had been living out of God’s will.  The Lord convicted me of all the witchcraft I had done, and at this exact moment I was also convicted of any bisexual feelings I had towards women. 

I didn’t have to question this, I just knew that Adonai, the almighty God was telling me in love that I was not to participate in these activities any longer. They were not of Him.  When a human tells us these things, we get offended because we feel judged.  But when this knowledge comes directly from our Heavenly Father, it doesn’t sting.  It is God’s judgement on our sins, but it’s a feeling of such profound love and caring.  God wanted to protect me from anything not in HIS will, and I knew that I wanted to follow God’s plan for my life, not mine anymore.  The concept of sin is difficult, but I understand it now as anything that is not holy.  The world’s wisdom is not God’s wisdom, and there are spiritual reasons why sins are dangerous for us.

These changes God made for me were just the first layer of sanctification, as I was about to undergo many different phases of coming out from under the new age deception.  It would be a gradual process, through which God was about to give me a crash course in why certain practices were evil and against His will.  God also showed me that I was not supposed to be with women sexually.  It wasn’t something I thought a lot about, but it was always a question in the back of my mind.  I had no idea what the Bible said about this at that time, but I just knew this was not God’s will for me.

After rededicating myself to God, the demonic attacks on my mind lessened, and it was the first real relief I had experienced.  However, because Satan knew he had lost his hook in me, I was about to learn that the kingdom of darkness attacks us when we try to leave the occult as well.  Jesus would allow this in order for me to be cleansed and purified with Holy Fire of heaven. 

I didn’t own a Bible, so I began to research online about Jesus and the sins of witchcraft.  I wanted to see if there were any former witches like me whom God had called out of the new age.

At that time back in 2015, I only found a couple ladies online speaking about this.  I did find one website that advised me to get rid of all my occult items, anything new age including books and idols.  The website was from a former witch who felt God told her to do this.  When I read this, I felt the truth of it as well.  I began to remove all the evidence of my sin with the occult, and this brought me a great deal of emotional relief as well.

I learned online that because I had been truly saved as a child I could not be possessed by a demon or negative entity as I was still calling them.  To call them ‘negative entities’ is false, and denies the existence of Satan and Hell–which are very real.  I would very soon understand this.

Hell is real, and Satan is the god of this fallen world.  I was on the wide path right to the Lake of Fire, but Jesus left the 99 sheep and went after me–the one lost sheep.  Because I had been saved as a child and sealed by the Holy Spirit, I could not be possessed by a demon.  However, I could be ‘oppressed’ by one.  This was news to me, but perfectly explained what had been happening to me ever since I first dabbled in witchcraft.  I looked online again and found a website that instructed me that I needed to ask God to remove the demonic oppression, and that repenting from all my involvement in the occult was a way to do this.  The website instructed that I might need a pastor to pray over me as well.  This particular website felt safe to me, but some others did not.  Some ministries had prayers that seemed almost like ritualist spells, so I felt the Holy Spirit wanted me to stay away from them.  The website I found provided what was called a Battle Prayer, and I knew immediately that God wanted me to pray this prayer so I could rebuke the devil in Jesus’s name and take authority over my home.

Again, the Holy Spirit is there to teach us here and always ask Him what to do.  I was cautioned to stay away from ‘Deliverance Ministries’, but a rebuking prayer was different.  The Lord would later lead me to deeper levels of surrendering my heart, along with fasting and repentance.  This is a lifelong process.  Trust in the Lord that He saved you! He will lead you out of oppression. 

After praying, I knew God wanted me to attend a church service.  I hadn’t been to church in a very long time, so I was nervous I would get thrown out of the building for being a former witch.  Yet, I knew I had to worship the Lord to fully remove the demonic oppression.  The Holy Spirit was showing me all that I needed to do.

Praising the Lord breaks the demonic chains on our spirit.  I would also later learn that I needed to put on the full Armor of God every day to protect myself from the enemy.

“Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.  Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;  And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.  And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints.”–Ephesians 6:11-18

Because the foot was still broken, I had to ask my mom to drive me to church, which was difficult since we barely talked during that time.  She was cautiously happy that I had given my life to the Lord, but our relationship was still fraught with anger on both sides.  Even thought I was still triggered by my mother at this time, I was determined to follow the Lord even if that meant spending time with my mom.  Clueless about which church to attend, I was grateful that a friend of my mom’s recommended a non-denominational church.  Attending a church service after years in the occult was a life changing experience, and I was very grateful to be there.  I fought back tears as best I could, but I eventually couldn’t contain my emotions.

     I was just so desperately aware of how much I needed God’s grace and forgiveness.  I couldn’t quite comprehend that the Lord had in fact forgiven me already.  I was so grateful to be saved from the darkness of what I had been involved in, and I was so thankful that Jesus cared enough to pull me out of it.  I had never felt so loved and valued in my entire life.

Even when the new age lied and said I was gifted and had special powers as a psychic and healer, this paled in comparison to how it felt to be singled out by the Creator of heaven and earth.  God pulled me out of this! I couldn’t quite believe how much I was loved.  The rejoicing and praising of the Lord began to remove even more of the demonic oppression, and I noticed that on the drive home I didn’t feel quite so angry with my mother.  My mind felt like my own again for the first time too, which was a huge turning point.  Up until then, it had felt like something was preventing me from thinking…as if I was very confused all the time and didn’t know my own thoughts.  The car ride home from church was the first time I had felt a sort of mental clarity, and I rejoiced in God’s healing.  Repentance, surrendering my life to God, and praising His Holy name had all been working together to break the chains of spiritual bondage.

The anger towards my mother gradually began to lessen after this turning point, and the Lord helped me to see that Satan loves nothing more than to attack and divide families.  My mother was still a Christian and prayed for me, and Satan knew if he destroyed our bond that I wouldn’t have anyone there for me.  I would be alone and more vulnerable to darkness.  This is how the enemy works. 

Shortly after, I began to attend a church service for former addicts and those in recovery.  It was a very helpful segue for me because I felt that I could be myself there.  There weren’t any former witches there, but everyone was struggling with something.  I met a woman there who gifted me my first Bible, and asked that I read the book of Acts and Ephesians.  She was a great help to me at that time.  I still hadn’t told anyone of my past in the occult, but I felt safe at this particular church for the moment.  God would later show me that He wanted me to leave, but this church was a good fit for where I was at during that time of my sanctification.  I learned that believers truly need what is called ‘the armor of the church,’ and that when others pray for us or we lift our voices in worship together, that this is the armor, the protection from the schemes of the enemy.

I didn’t know it then, but new believers get attacked a lot by Satan because they are very vulnerable.  To add to that, those who leave the occult get attacked even more because Satan has lost a soul to the kingdom of God.  I realized then that there truly is a war going on—a war for each and every one of our souls.  The greatest deception of all was to believe that Satan was harmless or fictional.  The enemy was anything but, and had almost taken me down into the pit.  God took mercy on me, and because of that I knew that my life was not going to be the same as it had been before.

I was given a second chance to live, and I would honor the Lord this time.  The way I had been living was bringing nothing but death into my life, but God reached down into the hole I had fallen into, and He pulled me out.  He gave me a new life, and even though it would take me a while to fully grasp this concept:

I was a new creation in Christ.

I had been remade, and this was bigger than I realized.  I was no longer the same person, but a new creation with a new heart.  God was about to make some changes in me, and my life was going to be very different.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sacred Geometry, Metatron & the Kabbalah

This is Sacred Geometry & ‘Archangel Metatron’.

This is from the Kabbalah, not the Bible.  So, if Metatron isn’t one of the Lord’s angels….then he’s what exactly??  Yes…you guessed it…he’s a Fallen Angel.  This is what the Bible calls a demon.

 

And guess what demons do?  They give you lies wrapped in a bit of truth. They give you a stronghold that takes you away from the Lord, and gets you searching for ancient wisdom outside of the Bible.

This all goes to back to the First Lie in the Garden of Eden. Humanity believed the lies of the serpent Lucifer…and we wanted that ancient wisdom for ourselves. We were told we could be ‘as gods’…and we believed the Lie.

 

The new age likes to take ‘ancient wisdom’ like this and call it God’s Truth. It’s ancient all right, but guess who’s ‘truth’ this is?

So many are led astray when something is called angelic.

 

We can never forget…Lucifer was an angel once too.

 

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Which Jesus do you serve?

The book of Matthew in the Bible tells us that in the end days, there will be many false Christs, and the book of Phillipians tells us to work out our faith with fear and trembling.

 

Do you know which Christ you serve?

 

Did the Jesus you serve appear to you in a meditation?  Did you ‘connect’ to Him?  Did you receive a ‘download’ from him?  

 

This is the New Age Jesus, a False Christ.

           Satan appears as an angel of Light in the new age to deceive…

 

 

Many are being deceived by the idea of ‘Christ Consciousness’, a false image of Jesus Christ that they receive while practicing eastern meditation, while partaking in psychedelics, or simply a Jesus that appears in a false vision and doesn’t ask for that person to repent from their sins.  If Jesus is all Love and not asking you to change your ways, this is creating God in our own image or likeness.

 

The Lord is Love, but He is Holy.  Jesus wants to offer you freedom from the bondage of sin. It is a form of invisible slavery and blinds your eyes to the Truth.

 

The Lies of the False Jesus say:

WE CAN BECOME LIKE JESUS.  WE ARE DIVINE BEINGS.

 

THESE ARE LIES FROM SATAN. I PROMISE YOU. 

 

 

The Truth is:

Jesus saved us. We serve Him, and it is His will be done….not ours.

We don’t have the power to Co-Create or manifest things.

The power is either the Lord our God in Heaven’s or the power comes from Satan who is the ‘god’ of this fallen world we live in.

We have a choice of who we serve, and if we serve ourselves…that is the choice to serve Satan by default.

 

The lie is that we can control things on our own.

The lie is that we’re enough on our own.

 

The Truth is: 

We aren’t ‘enough’ because we live under a curse.  This curse has a way out, and that is the TRUE JESUS CHRIST.

 

The True Jesus calls for us to deny ourselves and Follow Him….to leave our old ways behind…to repent from sin…to love our neighbors…and to submit to the Lord’s will instead of our own.  This is dying to self and picking up the cross to serve the Lord.  It’s diametrically opposed to every single thing we’ve been programmed to believe by our world from day one.

The media has been casting spells and blinding us from birth unless we have accepted the Lord Jesus as our Savior we can’t see the truth.

 

Don’t despair about the false Christs.  The good news is that everything Satan means for evil, the Lord uses for good.

There are many who are calling out to the TRUE JESUS for the first time in their lives, and Jesus is showing up for them!!  You will know it’s the real Jesus if you’re called to repentance, if you’re led to read the Holy Word of the Lord in the Bible.  Scripture renews your mind and the scales will fall from your eyes.  You will be shown the Lord’s Truth, the Way and the Light. You will be regenerated.

 

For further reading on how the False Jesus can appear to us, and even speak to us..I recommend the following book:

 

Deceived by the New Age by:  Will  Baron

download

 

 

Why Wiccans and Pagans are Church-hurt, and how to help with that.

Guys, learning the following information really helped me.  That, coupled with finding a church with true believers sealed the deal.  My pastors both have experience dealing with the occult, and the love they have shown me has been a gift from the Almighty! Please share this information below with someone who needs it.:

“Many Pagans and Wiccans feel that they have been treated badly by the Church throughout history. There is certainly much truth in such a view. At times, the established Church has treated witches in terrible ways. However, a lot of Wiccans may not know that it wasn’t just the witches who were persecuted. Another group also suffered. Who were they? True Christian believers! At various times throughout Christian history, evil and unregenerate men have infiltrated the established Church and caused it to fall into apostasy. During such times, true believers have separated themselves, but then found themselves being savagely persecuted. Those who persecuted both Pagans and true Christians were not really Christians themselves, but rather corrupt and evil men who took the opportunity of infiltrating the established Church for their own selfish gain. That other Christians were also persecuted, along with many other groups, by the Church is acknowledged by authorities in Wicca.”

***Read full article here:

https://christiananswers.net/evangelism/beliefs/wicca.html?fbclid=IwAR1RODKNbrRBg9lqXCBWWrifXJxN9AjHnavk-FAeG5hU1ya7UsL-bhdaQi8

Twin Flame Deception Book!

After much ado, the ebook is now officially available on Amazon! This is exciting!!

This book is my testimony of how Jesus saved me from the new age witchcraft, and showed me the lies of the Twin Flame Deception. In the book, I am trying to expose each half truth that I believed, and shine God’s truth on this. These lies are seeping into Christian circles now, and many who are hungry for love and healing are believing them.

I will be posting excerpts and discussion of the testimony here on the blog, so you will be able to get the gist of it.  However, if you would like to buy the book it’s now available.

Click on the amazon link for a preview of Chapters 1-6! 

Publishing the book on Kindle!

Hello everyone!

This book has been available on here for the past year and a half, but now I’m working to publish it on Kindle ebooks.  Due to copyright issues, I’m only able to leave a few chapters up.

As soon as the ebook becomes available, I will post a link here on both the blog and the facebook page.

Thank you for all the encouragement from everyone in this process!

I would especially like to thank the following people:

My pastors at Lynn Lane Baptist Church for all the encouragement and direction the past year.  This church has changed my life.

My friend Leah Rachel who suggested I do more with my blog. You never let me give up!

Crystal King, who suggested I publish on ebooks. Thank you so much for this idea!

And Angela Austin & Harmony Van VanHollebeke for all the editing and support!!

Chapter 30: Twin Flame Lies

Chapter 30:  Twin Flame Lies

“Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.”–1 John 4:1 

Being a new Christian, I was about to learn that Satan attacks most ferociously during the time when a believer is first coming to Christ.  New believers haven’t been grounded in the authority of Jesus, and don’t know the word of the Lord as the Sword of the Spirit, so they are very vulnerable to spiritual warfare.

The good news was that I was done with the heavy demonic oppression, and that was never to come back again, but I was about to endure spiritual warfare in a different way. 

I would later learn that God allows this to build discernment in His children.  God had many lessons to teach me, and even though they were not easy I now count it all Joy–Joy in the Lord through the chastisement, Joy in the Lord through the trials.  It was all meant for me to be refined and grown up in the Truth..and I was about to have more scales removed from my eyes to see God’s truth first-hand.

No sooner than the heavy demonic oppression on my mind lifted, did Satan start to rear his ugly head in attempt to ensnare me in yet another deception–the lies of the Twin Flame Soulmate.  It all started a couple months after being born-again.  I was still wearing the boot cast, but my ‘bone bruise’ was feeling much better and I had a lot more mobility.  With the ability to walk around the house more, I was doing laundry one afternoon when out of nowhere I had a thought about Tommy.  I suddenly felt a very strong urge to contact him.  He was one of the few men I had met in my life that claimed to be a Christian, so at the time I thought God was leading me back to a partner who would be a good choice for me.  I wanted to date a believer, so I could be equally yolked, as I was learning this was of extreme importance for me spiritually.  I didn’t want to be with anyone who would pull me away from the truth of Jesus, and I thought Tommy would be someone with whom I could share my faith.

Feeling this powerful urge to connect with Tommy, I decided to look him up online. I was able to find him, so I reached out to him and apologized for everything that happened in the past.  I felt that I was in the wrong, so I wanted to extend an olive branch.  He said he forgave me, and was happy to hear from me.  I thought this all meant it was God’s will that we reconnect.  Through our conversation, he told me he was still living in Hawaii, and that he had created a new life for himself, and was now going by a new spiritual name.  I learned that he was very involved in the shaman community in Hawaii, and that he participated in many sweat lodges and spirit journeys with the drug called Ayahuasca—a powerful psychedelic that induces visions.  He told me that he had been doing spiritual healing sessions as a side-job, and really enjoyed helping people.

You would think that I would have realized right then and there that Tommy was not a Christian at all, and that I needed to run away from this because it was literally everything from which I had just escaped.  However, there was this strong pull inside me to ‘help’ him…and I couldn’t turn away.  All these warning signs registered with me, but somehow I felt that I was supposed to reconnect with Tommy and share what God had done in my life.

At that time, I still believed the ‘true love vision’ I received years ago was from the Lord… but I would soon discover that the vision had been a deception from Satan the entire time. 

Still believing this vision was from God, I was determined to help Tommy and bring him out of the new age.  I felt that God wanted me to witness to him, and then we could be together forever.  I had no idea that God does not unite two people who are unequally yolked.  Instead, I believed the Twin Flame Lie that Tommy and I had some sort of spiritual purpose on the planet—one that we had to unite to achieve.  I thought all these ideas were from the Most High at the time, but I was about to learn they were yet another deception.  Something that I had not considered until this point was that Satan appears as an angel of light to deceive us.  I was about to learn just how deceptive this ‘light’ can be.

Reconnecting with Tommy was a cunning distraction the evil one used on me as a baby Christian.  Knowing I was very vulnerable and looking for love, Satan provided a snare in the form of a man who was still entrenched in the new age.  As Tommy and I began to reconnect, sure enough I started to feel we were ‘meant to be.’  I felt pulled to him somehow, as if we were destined to be together for eternity.  I began to research about this online, and I stumbled upon many websites and videos about the Twin Flame/Twin Soul phenomena.  Many Christians also believed in this, so I thought it was safe and not ‘new agey’ at all.  I believed that God had created a soul-mate or intended partner for each of us, much like he had created Eve for Adam.  I began to read about twin flames and listen to all sorts of videos, trying to understand why I felt pulled to Tommy.  The twin flame community all had a similar story to mine:

They had received a vision from ‘God’ with a picture or knowing of who their twin soul would be, and then they had met them.  I thought I was stumbling onto some great truth at the time, and I thought this was part of God’s blessing to me for having exited the new age.  The twin flame phenomena involved having a ‘psychic’ or ‘spiritual’ connection with one’s partner, a powerful draw to them, and many other empathetic qualities.  I found that many Christians believed they were empaths or ‘sensitives’, and so I thought this was a safe concept as well.  I didn’t know yet that although the Holy Spirit does give us spiritual giftings and annointings, but that Satan tries to imitate these gifts.

After talking with Tommy for a few weeks, we began to grow close again and he invited me to visit him in Hawaii.  After our history together, I felt that I needed to visit him to somehow ‘make things right’.  I owed him in a way, both for the time he almost visited me, and then again for the time he did visit me… but it went horribly.  I felt that the gesture of my visit would somehow even the scales, and show him that we were meant to be.  I wanted to do a grand Mea Culpa, and prove to him that I was his twin flame.

Even though I was financially broke, I had just received my final dispersement of student loan money for the fall semester.  This meant that I could afford to visit Tommy.  What’s more, if I scheduled the trip a few months from then my foot would be healed up enough to wear normal shoes.  This could work! I thought.  It all felt like my destiny unfolding.  Tommy had also hinted that if I liked it in Hawaii, then I could move there and stay with him.  This was what I had always dreamed about, a man whisking me away to another state and taking care of me.  I began to fantasize about the idea of my life with Tommy in a tropical paradise.  I felt so blessed! I thought God was gifting me the life I had always dreamed about.  I began to make preparations for moving to Hawaii, and each day I became more convinced that Tommy was my Twin Flame.

In order to prepare for the move, I knew I needed to first get in shape to live on an island.  The flight to Hawaii was scheduled for 3 months out so that I could lose the weight to look good for Tommy.  I didn’t quite know how I was going to slim down, what with my foot being only recently healed.  I called my foot doctor, and he approved me to wear special tennis shoes and instead of walking I could ride the exercise bike.  I had about 20 pounds to lose in order to wear a bathing suit, and I was terrified at not looking perfect for Tommy.  My life became all about looking beautiful for my Twin Flame.  I began to limit my food intake, and exercise every day.  I did cellulite treatments, tanning beds, and became quite obsessed with becoming as beautiful as I could be for Tommy.

Meanwhile, Tommy was busy making preparations for my visit too.  When we originally reconnected, he had been living in a tent in someone’s backyard—which was actually more common in Hawaii than I had previously realized.  The tent had a mattress and was very large, but nonetheless Tommy wanted a nicer environment for my visit and hopeful relocation.  Within a month’s time, he found a furnished rental house and a roommate.  This gesture was very endearing to me, and I felt it meant we were supposed to be together.  Tommy seemed serious about preparing for my visit, but I was getting a little nervous about the fact that we didn’t talk about our feelings much.  I got the sense that the whole trip was to see if we were truly compatible, to ‘test the waters’ so to speak.  Because of this uncertainty, I began to become increasingly nervous about seeing Tommy again, and the old worries started haunting my mind that I wouldn’t be good enough for him.  All the old feelings of insecurity rose up in me, just like they had when we first met.

Months went by, and it was finally the month of January—time to fly out to Hawaii to see my twin flame.  Fueled by an excited nervousness, I had actually managed to drop 30 pounds.  This was the thinnest I had been since college, and I truly thought this meant that God was blessing this union with Tommy.  I believed God wanted me to look beautiful for my future husband, and I had read online that other women had lost weight when they met their twin flames. Some of the Twin Flame testimonies even remarked how their physical ailments were improved upon finding their twin flames.  I was hopeful that this true love reunion would do the same for me.  I had also read that the Twin Flame reunion was some sort of mystical experience, and at that time I was confused about mystical Christianity.  The idea of  twin flames also seemed so compatible with Christianity to me at that time, because I viewed it as journeying back to my authentic humanity, back to the Garden of Eden.  I felt Tommy was the man God had created for me, and that the original humans had certain spiritual gifts from God.  I felt that God wanted me to experience this as well.  I didn’t know it at the time, but I was being seduced by the idea of mystical and new-age Christianity.  I hadn’t developed the discernment for that yet, but the Holy Spirit was about to take me on a crash course. 

Still being deceived by the Twin Flame videos and literature online, I believed the lie that my union with Tommy might unlock some other spiritual gifts and blessings for us, and I began to believe that if Tommy and I consummated our love we would be blessed even more with a ‘spiritual convergence’. 

I had not yet been sanctified in this area of pre-marital sex, so the idea of intimacy with a man whom I thought was my future husband seemed safe.  However, God was about to show me why sex was created to be a holy union.  The union of two into one flesh is a spiritual bond, and not to be taken lightly. 

Leading up to my trip was a very spiritually vulnerable time for me.  I didn’t want anything to do with magic or new age, but there were some gray areas I wasn’t so sure about.  The ideas of:  Twin Souls, Crystals, Empaths, Christian psychics (claiming to have messages from the Holy Spirit), Energy healing, and Spirit Animals—all these topics seemed like they could easily fall into the category of mystical Christianity, which I thought was okay at the time.  I was such a young Christian, that I didn’t yet have the discernment to see that this was all deception.  Young Christians, especially ones exiting from the occult truly need support groups to help them understand what is safe and what is not.  However, I know now that God allowed this so that I could clearly understand all these pitfalls of the satanic new age system. 

God was about to slowly peel back every layer of the new age to grow my discernment. 

As the weeks crept closer to my date of departure, I noticed that I was starting to have some real doubts about visiting Tommy.  I still felt he was my twin flame, and I still wanted to witness to him and ‘save him’ from the new-age..but the doubts were growing louder and louder in my mind.  This was the Holy Spirit warning me, but I didn’t realize that back then.  Initially, I tried to silence the doubts because I felt horribly responsible for Tommy’s descent into the new age spirituality.  I felt somehow responsible for introducing him to the tarot cards and mystical practices, and so I naively hoped that I could convince him of the dangers and rescue him from the deception.

However, as the time to visit him drew near I noticed I felt an increasing amount of anxiety at the idea of seeing him.  So, for the first time as a new Christian, I surrendered my decision to Jesus and prayed for an answer.  I wanted to know if visiting and/or moving to Hawaii was God’s will.  I hadn’t actually consulted God before booking the flight, and that was something I was starting to realize was very important.  So, I prayed and waited for a confirmation about my trip.  A few days after praying, I began to notice something odd.  I began to notice that a hawk seemed to be camped out near my mom’s house.  While that wasn’t totally unusual for the countryside of Arkansas, it seemed unusual for the hawk to be so close to the house.  The first week, I saw the hawk perching on a street sign near the mailbox in our yard, then a week later the hawk was sitting on the back of the fence in the backyard.  I was surprised at the proximity of the hawk, because generally these birds of prey don’t come that close to humans.  Then, the very next day I noticed the hawk was positioned on the side of the fence near the garage, and I happened to see him when I was taking out the trash.  As if this weren’t startling enough, I finally encountered the hawk one day when it was perched on the hood of my truck—just sitting there.  I gasped with shock, wondering why on earth the hawk was so intent on hanging around the house.  I couldn’t ignore it when it was preventing me from getting into my car and leaving the house.  I ended up shooing it away so I could run an errand, but it made me wonder why the hawk kept showing up near us.

Being such a new Christian emerging from what I now refer to as the new-age meatgrinder, my spiritual eyes were freshly opened.  The scales had been removed, but I was still unsure of how to test the spirits.  I could see God’s truth, but there were certain things I still needed to learn.  This was one of them.   At that time, I just assumed (wrongly so) that the hawk was a sign from God– telling me I should go to Hawaii.  I was still very much into signs at that point in my faith.  I was still confused at the idea of being connected to the natural world, and I was still blurring the line between Christianity and Shamanism.  This confused me greatly at the time.   

I would later learn that the hawk was not a sign from God..but a trick from Satan to get me hooked on the ideas of signs and nature reverence.  I knew not to worship the created above the Creator..but I still hadn’t figured out that the enemy loves to twist things just a tiny bit to get us confused.  While I certainly believe God gifts us with certain talents to work with animals or nature, God doesn’t want us revering animals or trying to interpret the actions of animals as heavenly signs. 

I would also soon learn that God is not the author of confusion, and that when He answers our prayers, it’s in a direct way.  We will know when God speaks to us and tells us what to do.  God’s answers are backed by His word, and will never contradict what is written in the Bible.  We don’t have to wonder about it, decipher the the signs, etc.  Confusion is not from God.