This is my story. This is a very personal account of why the new age beliefs appealed to me, how they promised healing and peace, but delivered the opposite. This is a story of how I desperately searched for love and God in places that led me to spiritual darkness. It is not my intent to judge those in the new age, but to shed God’s light upon it. There are many imitations of the True Light of the world: Jesus Christ. The antithesis to our Heavenly Father is a being called Lucifer, who is the father of lies and the god of this world. We are all making our way through a fallen state of existence, and this book is about my journey to discover Truth, and how it changed me. God’s truth revealed the true ME, the woman God truly intended me to be. The identity I had been searching for all my life. This is the story of how I found true peace for the first time through the love and redemption of Jesus Christ my savior.
To my fellow Christians who don’t know what the new age is, I hope this book will help explain how seductive the teachings are and how someone can easily fall prey to them. The new age teachings have crept into many churches now, and it is imperative to be informed about them. Many Christians are reluctant to talk about these things, for fear it will bring on more evil in their life. However, we must be sober and vigilant, with eyes to see the schemes of the enemy. This is imperative for all believers, and as uncomfortable as it is to talk about things that aren’t of God, we need to come together and address this.
For those of you wondering what kind of person would willingly enter the dark world of the occult, let me tell you it’s not marketed that way anymore. We have a cunning enemy, and satan appears as an angel of light in the new age, promising peace, unity, and healing. The enemy twists things to give the appearance of truth and ancient wisdom, and many are believing these half-truths in their search for God. The term ‘new-age’ really refers to the ‘old paganism’ of the Bible– all the sins of dabbling in spiritism that are forbidden. However, nowadays these mystical practices are repackaged as healthy for us and even adopted by many Christians. The world is blending paganism with Christianity, and this is the issue I’m hoping to address in this book. The devil’s plan with this is to create a unified religion that appeals to pagans and Christians alike, the end game being to position the antichrist as the head of the church, and recognized as ‘god’ by the many. This is the great deception. We are all pawns unless we see behind this veil.
To give you some backstory as to my beliefs: I was raised in a Baptist Church, and accepted Jesus Christ as my personal savior and the Son of God and when I was 10 or 11. I remember getting baptized, and I loved the Lord with all my heart. I prayed each night, and talked to God all the time. However, around 19 years old some painful events happened in my family that caused me to lose the majority of my faith. My parents were on their second marriage at that time, and both of them had decided to divorce their spouses again. The foundation of both my families was crumbling while I was away at college. My stepfather could no longer pay for my classes, so I had to drop out of school, get a full-time job and apply for food stamps. He was suddenly gone from my life, and I felt like I lost a father. I had gone from pampered to poverty in under a month. It was a shock for my 19 year old self. That coupled with family secrets, buried memories of childhood abuse, and general dysfunction—it all combined to create a crisis of self and faith.
My faith in God was childlike to begin with, and so I thought maturity meant not expecting God to solve all my problems. This lie kept me drifting far away from God, and eventually I adopted the new age teachings because they had bits of Christianity mixed in with other mystical teachings. There was also the issue that many Christians seemed mean and judgmental, and I wanted no part of that. So, if the church wasn’t the place where God lived, then I had to find the true Jesus elsewhere. That’s what started my journey to uncover ancient wisdom, and I hoped it would heal all the broken parts inside me.
Chapter 1: The False Vision
When his face appeared, I recognized him immediately. It was as if I had known him before time existed. He looked into my eyes, somehow peering deep down into my very soul. He spoke one word…’Love’. It was as if I could hear his voice resounding inside my mind. When he spoke, waves of ‘energy’ appeared and formed four red letters upon his heart. Like a glowing neon sign, the letters spelled out the word…’Love’. Suddenly, I felt weightless, like I was in another dimension. When I opened my eyes, I discovered I was awake, yet still inside the dream. The glowing letters echoing the word ‘Love.’
Back in my mid-twenties, I had a vision. Not knowing what that was, I considered it to be a message from God. I had no idea that Satan can also send visions. I just assumed it was from God because it was about ‘Love’.
When I received this vision, I was delighted to behold a man’s face..and not just any face. He was beautiful. He had piercing blue eyes with shoulder length, sandy brown hair. His eyes shone with kindness and intensity, and he had a beard which, to me, gave him the appearance of wisdom and safety. I had a peaceful feeling when I looked at him, as if we had known each other before. He uttered one word to me: ‘Love’. He said the word almost telepathically, and I remember thinking he was speaking to my very soul.
I knew instantly that this man was to be my husband, as if this knowledge was sent from heaven–it wasn’t. My friends however, were a bit dubious about the vision, and teased me that maybe who I really saw was Jesus instead of some destined ‘true love’. But, I would not be dissuaded. I decided that from then on, I would be on the lookout for this man, as I was not going to miss finding my soulmate!
So for the next few months, I had a laser sharp focus for any man with a beard and sandy brown hair. I mean, I had a hawk eye looking for this future soul-mate. I was convinced my other half was going to present himself very soon. The funny thing (and I tried not to focus on it), was that I wasn’t really attracted to men with beards at that time, or at all really, but it mattered little because the idea of a destined love was what I had been preparing for since I was 17 years old. I had been enamored with the idea of ‘love at first sight’ since high school, so the idea of love at first ‘dream-vision’ wasn’t much of a leap from there. I decided that if God cared enough to send me my other half, I would not quibble about his appearance.
My fascination with soul-mates continued into my college years, where I learned about the Greek myth of the ‘Androgyne’, a poetic theory teaching that humans are born separated from an integral piece of their identity–the literal other half. I learned that this ‘other-half’ is the soul’s counterpart, and they were literally created to fulfill us. I was so taken with this concept, as it seemed similar to the story of Adam and Eve. God created Eve just for Adam, so that he wouldn’t be alone. God fashioned Eve out of Adam’s rib, and she was in fact a part of him. They were ‘one’ together. I wanted that ‘one-ness’. I wanted my other half.
You see, I had always been a die-hard romantic. Romeo and Juliet was my favorite story since age 16, and I longed for the kind of connection I saw portrayed. I was consumed with the idea of a soul bond that transcended the mundane idea of mere compatibility. I wasn’t looking for a simple boyfriend; I wanted a convergence of time and space–the kind of love that blended two souls into one. The search for true love gave me a feeling of complete wholeness, without which life would be empty. Everything I did revolved around making myself good enough to find this destined love someday. This was my entire purpose of existence. Yet, through all this I never once stopped to wonder why finding love was so important to me–never questioned my fixation on this or where it came from.
With all my fixation upon finding true love, beholding my soul-mate in a dream was in every way an answer to my prayers. Around the time I received the vision, I had been through a series of traumatic life events, and because of this, the vision became a veritable life raft for me. I clung to my vision as proof that my life would get better; It meant I would be somebody.
The seed of deception from Satan had been planted, and little by little my penchant for romance grew into a deep obsession, leading me to search for love no matter the cost to myself or my soul.
But let me go back to how this all began…