Shamanic Magic Lies-Chp. 12

CHAPTER 12:  Shamanic Magic Lies

“Seers will be put to shame. Those who practice witchcraft will be disgraced. All of them will cover their faces, because God won’t answer them.”–Micah 3:7

The last week in Seattle was a whirlwind of events.  I had to figure out a lot of details if I was going to move back home.  First and foremost, I wasn’t sure how I was going to navigate the summertime heat.  I couldn’t exactly drive home because even in a car, the air conditioning didn’t always cool the vehicle down on a really hot day.  I considered driving at night, but decided that sounded too complicated.

Panicking, I decided to reach out to my first-love from college, James.  We had parted as friends, and agreed to call each other if we ever needed.  Well, this was one situation where I truly needed an ally.  I didn’t consider asking Tommy for help, not after how I’d rejected him years ago.  No. I needed someone with whom I had history, and that’s exactly what James and I had.  I was also a bit embarrassed that my life was unraveling yet again, and I felt like it wouldn’t be hugely appealing if I called Tommy during a messy place in my life.  Instead, I only wanted to present myself as a powerful and strong woman to him.  I decided that calling James was the best choice, as he had already seen me at my worst and had loved me once.

After telling James about my predicament, I was amazed that he graciously offered to fly to Seattle and help me.  He had even offered to drive my car back home to Oklahoma for me, and in return I would pay for all his gas.  He said he felt guilty for not understanding my health issues regarding the heat stroke, and he had been experiencing some recent health problems of his own.  I got the sense he wanted to make amends, and I was very grateful at how this was all working out.  With James on the way to Seattle, I decided to purchase a plane ticket for my return home.  I was going to fly my cat and myself back to Oklahoma.  All the arrangements had been made, and I could relax a bit.

Two days later, I picked up James from the airport.  His flight arrived late in the evening, and I had already begun planning some fun events for his itinerary while in Seattle.  Eager to show him the sights, I had heard that the Starlight bookstore was hosting a shamanic healing ceremony the next day, and I couldn’t believe my good fortune.  This seemed like a perfect chance to show him some of the spiritual paths I had been exploring.  He had agreed that it sounded interesting, and replied that he was always up for something new.  James was an agnostic intellectual type, but he somehow didn’t feel threatened by the idea of shamanism or new-age style spirituality.

When we got to the bookstore the next day, there were 8 people gathered in the back conference room, and we were told to sit down to form a circle.  We sat down in formation, and awaited instruction.  Most of us looked clueless but excited to be participating in something interesting.  Then, a sage bundle was passed around the circle and we were encouraged to blow the smoke around each other to cleanse our energies.  This was an important element of the new age, ‘saging’ oneself or the house to remove negative entities.

I would discover years later that nothing rebukes demons except the name of Jesus Christ, but back then I believed in the many rituals designed to protect me.  The trouble was, these rituals never did protect me at all.  They were all part of the lie. 

Suddenly Jess, the owner of the store, entered the back room carrying a pink candle in her hands.  She told us that we were going to do a special manifestation ceremony.  We were supposed to think of one thing that we wanted most in our lives, and then etch it onto the candle with a pencil.  The candle was then passed around the circle, and each person carved their one wish into the candle wax, careful not to write over someone else’s wish.  I decided to write down the word acceptance, hoping it would bring me true peace about my childhood and the trauma I couldn’t seem to forget.  Then, Jess brandished a large wooden stick of some kind.  The stick had been decorated with ribbons and different colorful items.  It was called a ‘spirit stick’, and we were going to pass it around the circle and chant something while the candle was burning.  The words for the chant were sent around the circle for us to read and then speak them in unison.  I was surprised the words mentioned something called ‘White Buffalo Woman’, which was a Native American goddess I had recently been reading about.  I took this as another sign I was on the right spiritual path.

When everyone was finished writing their intentions upon the candle, Jess ignited the wick, and we all began to chant in the circle.  We were all smiling and having a wonderful time, and after the ceremony was complete Jess picked up the candle and informed the group that she would be burying it in her backyard under the full moon that night.  She educated us that burying the candle in the earth under a full moon would allow our wishes to be charged with the full power of the moon’s rays.

Looking back, I had just participated in my first ‘goddess circle’, which was essentially a witches’ coven, and I had just performed what wiccans call ‘candle magic’.  To top it off, we had invoked assistance from a ‘goddess’ called White Buffalo Woman, but it just seemed like a harmless ritual to me back then.

I didn’t understand that pagan rituals called on other gods that were actually demons.

At that time, I was fascinated with how Native spirituality seemed so similar to Wicca.  Not all wiccans did spells, and not all Native Americans did them either.  However, I wanted to learn what these spells and rituals were all about.  They promised to reveal the secrets that had been hidden.  Who were the ancestors, the helpful spirit guides?  What was shapeshifting? I wondered.  Could I become a shaman and shape-shift?  It all fascinated me.  Again, I didn’t really see this at odds with Jesus then, mainly because the Native spiritual books mentioned something called Christ Consciousness, and because of that I felt this was safe.  Jesus performed powerful signs and wonders, and so Jesus must have known all about these mystical practices.  I wanted to learn the truth about this.  I had read that Jesus declared we would be able to walk on water just like He did, so maybe the church had intentionally hid this esoteric information from humans so we couldn’t have that same power.  Didn’t Jesus want us to be like Him? I rationed.

I would later learn that the ancestors and spirit guides were all demons masquerading as angels of light.

What’s more, the notion of Jesus as a shaman, light-worker, yogi, or mystic is what’s called ‘Christ Consciousness’–the idea that Jesus ascended to achieve Enlightenment, and that we can all use mystical practices to do the same.  This is not the real Jesus at all.  The real Jesus asked us to humble ourselves to the will of God and repent of our sins to enter heaven.  The Christ Consciousness made Jesus out to be yet another ‘enlightened being’ who we could be on the same level as him. 

     This very concept of enlightened knowledge wasn’t from the Bible. It was from spirits claiming to be angels, yet denying and twisting the word of the Lord.  The enlightened knowledge that Siddhartha and others received from meditation is not from Jehovah God; it is from the imitation kingdom of Lucifer.

I mistakenly assumed that I could blend eastern mystical belief systems with my belief in Jesus, and that would result in the same path to ‘heavenly knowledge’.  I thought as long as the word if someone used the word ‘Christian’ or talked about Jesus…then it must be of God.  I was about to learn how wrong I was in my thinking.

 

After the ritual, I was very surprised to see that James actually enjoyed himself.  He had a huge grin on his face afterwards, and I was so pleased we had found something new and fun that reunited us as friends.  As we were processing what just happened, I recognized someone I know from my Tarot class.  Her name was Fawn, and she and her husband Jerry were both at the ceremony.  I didn’t have the courage to strike up a friendship with her before then, but I felt emboldened now that I had a friend with me.  After I introduced them to James, we all began to talk and realized how much we had in common.  So, when I told Fawn that I only had a few days left in Seattle, she seemed disappointed.  She told me that she wanted to create a meaningful farewell experience for me in my last days there, and that I should call her tomorrow. Moved by that gesture, we agreed to meet up the next day.

The next morning, James and I decided to walk up the street to the nearby coffee shop for breakfast.  We took the giant outdoor staircase which led us to the back alleyway.  It was a shorter walk to the shop from there.  We spent the morning enjoying our coffee and donuts and chatting about how interesting the shamanic circle experience had been for us, when suddenly I remembered I needed to call Fawn.  Stepping outside, I made the call and Fawn answered the phone with a cheery greeting.  “Michal! Blessings, it’s so great to hear from you.  I have a plan for your departure.  Do you have a pen and paper to write something down?”  She then gave me a number for a woman in Bellevue who performs past life regressions, and Fawn had already paid for the session as a gift to me.  All I needed to do was schedule the appointment.  I remember feeling so grateful I had met Fawn, and also a little sad to be leaving now that I had a good friend.  I hung up the phone, and went back inside the coffee shop to tell James the good news.

As it happened, I called the number Fawn gave me, and the past-life practitioner had an opening that very day at 3pm.  How fortuitous! I thought.  I had never done anything quite like this before, and I was very excited to find out more about who I really was in my past life.  I felt this woman would finally show me the answers to what I had been searching for.  Maybe she could heal the past pain in my family line, the curses of abuse and fear.  I hoped she could, and I was very eager to see her.

     In the new age, it seemed like people were helping me and wanted to be my friend. This sense of peer approval was very addictive, and only served to reinforce the deception. 

 

James and I finished our coffee, and decided to drive out to Bellevue for the past-life session.  As I entered the practitioner’s office, I immediately felt comforted by all the Native American décor on the walls.  I myself felt sure I had Native American lineage, and I speculated that I had come from a long line of wise medicine women.  The practitioner then had me lay down on the therapy table, which looked much like a massage table.  She seemed very nice and non-threatening, so I opened up to her right away.   She then began to ask me a series of questions, nothing special per say, just questions about myself and my life.  I began to tell her a bit about my issues with men and finding true love.  I desperately wanted to find an answer to why I couldn’t seem to have a successful relationship.  Then, she grew quiet and began to meditate.  She asked me to lie still and focus inwardly on what I saw.  At first, I didn’t see anything at all, and so I thought maybe I should try to concentrate harder.

 

Then, suddenly I began to see an image form in my mind…

 

 I saw an image of a bowl on the ground, an antique bowl made from some sort of stone, and it had red flower petals inside of it.  The bowl had fallen to the ground, and all the petals inside of it had scattered onto the street.  I suddenly became aware that the woman was me in the past, and she was humiliated.  I looked up from the ground and saw a man on a horse, and he wouldn’t help her.  Her beautiful flower petals were strewn all over the cobblestone street, and he just stared coldly at her, then rode away.  I suddenly felt a profound sadness inside me, but then it was not my sadness; it was the woman who held the bowl.  She was grieving something, and her heart was breaking. 

     Then, I saw an image of a heart beating fast.  It was bloody, blood red, and it fell to the floor like the flower petals.  She had been cast aside, tossed out like garbage.  Her bloody beating heart was cast aside as if it was nothing.  I was grieving for her, and my heart was in such pain from these images.  Just when I couldn’t bear any more sadness, another image appeared.  Now, I saw an old woman.  She had piercing eyes that stared at me with an intensity that gave me chills.  I didn’t know what she was trying to tell me.  She was sitting down on something when she began to shake her legs and feet upwards at me somehow.  I didn’t know what it all meant, just that she was trying to tell me something.  Suddenly, the woman rolled over.  She covered herself with a blanket, and passed away.  She had died right there in my vision.

 

Finally, I couldn’t take any more of this, and so I sat up on the table, back in the office.  The practitioner looked at me, calm and serene.  I then began to tell her what I had just seen.  As I began to tell the story of the broken-hearted woman, the practitioner finished my sentences.  She had somehow seen the flowers and the bloody heart on the ground too.  How could that be I wondered?  I then told her about the old woman, and how she just rolled over and died, withered away under her blanket. 

The practitioner told me what I already knew to betrue’ (which was really a LIE from Satan):  that both of those women were ‘me’ in a past life.  The old woman was trying to tell me to live life and not hide under the covers in fear of truly experiencing love.  I had been so afraid of getting hurt again that I had become like that old woman.  I let love’s pain break me.  I remember at that very moment realizing my love life and all the failures weren’t my fault at all.  They weren’t a result of the choices I’d made.  Instead, I had been a part of a legacy of women who had been hurt by men, and I had to break the pattern. 

Suddenly all this ‘truth’ began to click for me.  I began to believe this vision and regarded it as ‘divine’ wisdom.

I would later learn it was all part of the deception from Satan. This woman was called a ‘Past Life Practitioner’, but she was in reality she was a Medium allowing demons to speak through her. 

     God’s truth was counterfeited to blend half-truths and twisted bits of personal information about me to sound like the whole truth.   At the time, I had no idea that familiar spirits (demons) are assigned to family lines, and can study us and know intimate details.  Mediums can then channel this demonic wisdom and seem like they are giving you hidden information. I had a lot to learn about the new age before finding the Truth.  I would also later learn that the Bible specifically addresses this as an abominable sin.

When the session was over, I thanked the practitioner profoundly.  I asked her if she would accept a tip, and she refused saying that my friend Fawn had paid her in full. I left the office, and went back to the car where James had been patiently waiting.  I told him what happened in the past-life regression, and he listened intently.  I was surprised that he didn’t give me a hard time about it, being that this wasn’t really his sort of thing.  Instead, he seemed to be legitimately interested in what I was saying.

 

 

 

 

I remember leaving the woman’s office that day feeling different, almost like I was floating on a cloud.  I felt altered in some way, but in a good way, like I just had a massage or drank a couple glasses of wine.  It was pleasant.  I felt a blissful sort of peace pulsing throughout my very being. This was the false high of the demonic healing, but I would later see the true face of this ‘bliss’. 

The next day rolled around, and it was my last full day before I had to catch my plane.  Fawn had scheduled a lunch with us to celebrate and discuss how the past life session went.  So, James and I drove over to meet Fawn and her husband Jerry for a bite to eat.  I told her all about the interesting floaty blissful feeling I had after the session, and she confirmed it was the same for her.  Fawn said that I should expect to feel differently for a while, and that was just my neurons rewiring themselves to include the new DNA memories of my past life.  It felt so great to have Fawn explain it that way, and I never thought I had done anything dangerous or demonic at that time.  I just thought the past life practitioner had a natural gift of ‘sight’ to see what I was seeing, and I didn’t know anything about familiar spirits or spirit guides at that time.  In my mind, I had just received a psychic healing from a wise woman who had powers to bring forth buried memories in my subconscious, ancestral memories.

That was how it was all framed for me, similar to hypnotherapy.  I thought entering into a trance state wasn’t that big of a deal since hypnotherapy was part of psychology.  Had I been told that I was having a session with a ‘medium’ who was ‘channeling’ spirits to show me a lie from a demon…well, I certainly wouldn’t have wanted to do anything like that.

Therein lies the seductive power of the new age.  It takes ancient pagan practices forbidden in the Bible for good reason, and it repackages them in new language so that they seem like hidden wisdom meant to heal us and elevate us into ‘higher consciousness’.  These are all beautiful lies that sound great and tickle our ears, but in reality hide the deeper darkness therein. 

After lunch with Fawn and Jerry, we all decided to go on a little road-trip to the mountains.  Fawn wanted to show me some of the most ‘magical’ places in the city.  She took us all up to a view in the mountains called Hurricane Ridge, and we had to drive up a long winding mountain road for what seemed like an eternity to get there.  The vista was breathtaking, and there were huge bits of misty clouds that actually touched the ground.  I remember thinking the mists had a life of their own as they moved along the earth.  How lucky I was to notice these things in the spiritual realm.  We took some pictures, and walked around a bit.  It was difficult to walk too much though, because the altitude was so high.

Next, Fawn took us on a ferry ride—my first ferry ride ever.   She really wanted to show me a humpback whale, because I had told her that one of my life goals was to see one of these majestic creatures.  We rode around on the ferry for a good hour, but we didn’t end up seeing one that day.  We had a blast regardless.  Before the day was over, Fawn taught me about orbs, which were little angelic spirits that sometimes appeared in pictures as tiny bubbles, she said.  She taught me about so many things that day, and ended up gifting me one of her books about something called MAP Healing.  This was where you opened a ‘cone of healing’ inside your mind, and called in something named the White Brotherhood of Ascended Masters and the Deva of Nature Spirits to do a healing session on you.  She then gave me one of her large ‘earth keeper’ crystals that I should use when I opened the cone of healing.  I had no idea what this was all about, but it sounded fascinating.

I wanted healing from all my issues, and energy work was the next big thing in my opinion.  The healthcare world just couldn’t find the answers I needed.  Maybe my heat issues could finally be fixed.  I remember being so overwhelmed with love from Fawn, and I felt she was a big sister to me and helping me in so many ways.  She wanted healing too, and she felt she was giving me all the tools I would need to go back to Tulsa and live my best life, free from the past and any pain I had experienced.  That was always the goal, to not dwell in the past but to heal it and move forward, always moving forward to reach higher and higher states of vibration and consciousness.

Years later, I would find out from the Holy Spirit exactly what the ‘Cone of Healing’ and ‘Ascended Masters’ really were, but at this moment in time I was happy in my ignorance.  The world of mystical healing was beautiful then.  Lovely goddesses and spirits who wanted to help us on this earth.  I was enamored with this sparkling magical world.

It wouldn’t be until years later that I would finally see the True face of these spirits. They were not really my allies at all, quite the opposite.

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 25: Alien Rapture

Chapter 25:  Alien Rapture

After the holidays were over, it was back to normal life in Arkansas.  I spent my time studying for my online classes and working at my part-time job.  After the self-love spell with Reagan, I had decided to get proactive and join a local gym for health and wellness.  I was determined to firm up my flab, and get back to my svelte figure.  I noticed right away that exercise was very effective in managing the anger I had towards my mother, so most of my nights were spent at the gym on the treadmill and elliptical machines.  I had also started jogging around the neighborhood, and I was starting to feel positive about my figure again.  By the month of March, I had dropped 10 pounds and I was beginning to really see some results from all my efforts.  I began to become more social, wanting to hit the town more in efforts to find romance.

Around this time, one of my single guy friends, Todd, called and invited me to take a trip with him.  He had heard about an UFO Conference that was being hosted in a hotel near my town, and wanted to take me along with him for company.  I was excited at the time, even though I wasn’t a big alien believer per se.  My friend wasn’t either, but he had always wanted to go to an UFO convention.  At the very least, it would be a fun and wacky story to tell to everyone.  The UFO conference was being held in the same town where Reagan and I had gone camping back in the fall.  This town of Eureka Springs was known for its alternative spirituality, and it had a lot of spiritual communities who lived there.  The conference started on a Friday and went all the way through Sunday.

I arrived at the motel early that Friday evening, and Todd and I decided to grab dinner and some beers before heading to the UFO Conference for the final events of the day.  Since we had driven separately, Todd had been at the conference starting at 9am and so he proceeded to catch me up to speed on all that I had missed.  He told me that it had mostly been speakers discussing their individual research, and it hadn’t been especially dynamic thus far.  However, Todd was most excited about one speaker in particular, a woman named Dolores Cannon.  Dolores was set to speak sometime on Sunday afternoon, and Todd was eagerly awaiting this event.  Dolores Cannon is currently deceased, but at the time she was considered the ‘pioneering grandmother of hypnotherapy,’ and not just any hypnotherapy.  Dolores practiced a type of past life regression that involved connecting to what she called The Source–ascended beings, otherwise known as aliens or higher life forms.  This was a big ‘get’, having Dolores Cannon on the speaker list.  I had actually heard of this woman before because my chiropractor ardently admired Dolores’s work.  As Todd and I arrived to the event center where the UFO Conference was being held, I remember feeling excited and nervous all at the same time.  I hadn’t really considered what I thought about higher life forms, and I was curious about what it all meant.

Friday night’s agenda featured a video screening and a panel discussion which lasted a few hours.  It was a short light-hearted film designed to grab our attention, and end the day on an entertaining note.   After the film was finished, we filed outside to the hallway and noticed there was a food and beverage kiosk that begun to serve coffee and wine.  Todd and I grabbed a glass of wine during an intermission, and we mingled with some of the other guests at the conference.  There were all sorts of people there, from all walks of life.  I enjoyed myself, and it was an interesting way to end the week.  After the video and discussion, Todd and I were pretty tired so we headed back to our motel.  The conference was set to start at 9am the next morning, so we decided to call it an early night.

Saturday morning came early, and Todd and I found ourselves rushing around trying to make it to the conference on time.  We grabbed some coffee from the motel front desk, and decided to just have protein bars for our breakfast.   We made it to the event center just at the speakers were starting, and we quickly settled into our seats.  Saturday’s events turned out to be what any novice would expect, a toe dipping introduction into extra-terrestrial theories and accounts.  It was fun, a bit like an episode of The X-Files.  I found myself getting sucked into the world of all things ET related.  After an educational morning, Todd and I were famished so we decided to grab lunch at a nearby Mexican restaurant.  We discussed all that we had learned, and while I was excitedly talking about the information from the morning panel, I was surprised to discover that Todd was more of an UFO skeptic than I was.  While he was very interested in the alien phenomenon, he also confessed that he couldn’t say for sure if he actually believed any of it.  Todd’s assertion was that he ‘wanted to believe’, and that’s what drove him to attend the conference.  However, for me the conference was very eye opening, and I realized that I did truly believe, and I now had a new and growing interest in what was affectionately called UF-ology (the study of all things UFO related).

The final day of the conference was Sunday, and after a full day of lectures the day before I was pretty fatigued.  I was determined, however, to persevere to the end of the programming in order to hear the speaker that Todd was constantly talking about—the infamous Dolores Cannon.  Even with my resoluteness, I found that I simply could not sit and listen for another eight hours of lectures that day, so I decided to explore the many informational booths and vendors that were displayed in the lobby and also in the lower level of the event center.  As I walked around and surveyed all the kiosks and alien literature, I was delighted to find a booth that sold bohemian style jewelry.  I decided to buy a pretty sterling silver ring made from the stone malachite.  Pleased with my purchase, I then decided to head back upstairs to check on Todd.  I went back to our seats in the conference room and sat down again.  Todd began to update me that Dolores Cannon was supposed to speak any minute.  Feeling very impatient, I began to wonder if it was truly worth my time to stay and hear what this woman had to say.  How important could it be, I wondered to myself.  After a few minutes of deliberating, I decided I didn’t care if I heard Dolores speak or not, and that I wanted to go home.  It had been a fun weekend, but it was 2pm on a Sunday and I had to work that next morning so I needed to start the drive home.  I said goodbye to Todd, and exited the conference room.

However, just as I walked out of the room I stopped suddenly as a particular sign caught my eye.  The sign had a picture of the planet on it, and it said ‘New Earth’.  Although I wasn’t sure what this sign meant, I remembered learning a little about the book of Revelation in the Bible, and I knew that part of the second coming of Jesus involved a new heaven and a new earth.  This was the tribulation story, the Rapture event.  Without trying to sound dramatic, I felt very drawn to this sign.  I knew I had to either buy this book or figure out what this theory wasI didn’t quite understand it then, but Jesus was trying to get my attention that day. 

I was all set to begin the drive home..but I simply could not leave without figuring out what the ‘New Earth’ theory was.  So, I walked downstairs again to the vender room in the lower level, and I scanned all the tables for any sign of a book about a New Earth.  Frustrated that I couldn’t find anything about it, I went back upstairs to the main conference room to rejoin my friend for just a moment.  I wanted to quickly ask him if he knew anything about this new earth theory before I headed back home.  However, when I opened the door to the main conference room, I saw that Dolores Cannon was on the stage!  Well, I took this as a sign, and decided to stay for her lecture.  My first impression of her was that she seemed particularly cranky that day.  I wasn’t sure what I had been expecting, but I guess I thought she would be a sweet old lady.  She was very professional, but she snapped at a couple audience members and seemed to belittle their questions in my opinion.  So, I wasn’t hugely impressed.  For the second time, I had decided that I was about ready to leave…but then low and behold Dolores started talking about the New Earth.  Okay, I had to stay and hear this….

She began to talk about vibrations…and to understand what that means,  let me first give you some back-story as to her work as a hypnotherapist.

In her books, she shares detailed accounts of her past life regression work upon individuals who, while under hypnosis, have confessed that their past lives were not on planet earth.  As her clients undergo hypnosis, they begin to recount their past lives.  It is at this point where another voice begins speaking, and communicates with Dolores.  Dolores then begins asking the new voice questions, and the voice claims to be a higher life form from another planet.  So Dolores interviews the higher beings while the person is under hypnosis.  Her books are accounts of what the beings tell her.  Well, now here’s where my details are fuzzy because I attended this conference many years ago.  If I remember correctly, Dolores was told by a higher being that there would be a huge cosmic shift very soon.  Human kind would be forever changed.  Essentially, a new earth would be created from the old earth..much like another dimension.  The old earth would still exist, but those who vibrated at a high enough frequency and focused on positive emotions and thoughts (happiness, bliss, love) would be transported to the new earth.  Those who insisted on dwelling in pain and negativity (low vibrations), would stay behind in the old earth.  The role extraterrestrials were to play in this would be to usher the higher vibrational humans to the new dimension.  We were to watch for the alien encounters. 

I think that’s the gist of her message that day.  Well, at the time this really piqued my interest.  My friend wasn’t as impressed as I was, and I think he had a bit more skepticism about the whole theory.  However, I was fascinated!  This sounded very similar to the Christian idea of the Rapture, and I felt drawn to knowing more about end times prophecies.

After arriving back home, I became obsessed with the idea that perhaps I had come from another planet originally, as Dolores had spoken about.  The UFO Conference had sparked a whole new part of my spiritual path, and I began to research this idea.  I read some pdf excerpts of Dolores’s books, and my chiropractor loaned me one of hers as well.  I loved the idea that I was descended from another planet, that I was what the new age called a ‘Star Person’.  This would explain why I had special gifts and felt out of place in the world.  The new age talks a lot about Indigo Children as well, children with special gifts who are supposed to raise the vibration of humanity upwards.  There are many theories about this.  I read one of Delores’s  theories about what is called ‘Walk-Ins’, and the idea is that the higher beings, sometimes for lack of a better term, ‘commandeer’ a human body who can no longer deal with the pain from their traumatic childhoods.  This really scared me, but I was still curious and wanted to know more.  I thought it sounded a bit like demonic possession though, and I would later find out that’s exactly what it was.

Dolores received channeled information about aliens, and informed her readers that some aliens were angelic, and some were not.  She instructed us that aliens were not here to harm us, and some alien races were actually here to help and protect humanity.  However, some of the stories I had heard through the years about alien abductions and even alien visitations sounded terrifying to be perfectly honest, but Dolores’s clients said it was all part of the human evolution.  Some souls had signed up for a traumatic life to learn certain lessons for their soul’s evolution, and they needed painful events to learn.

Reading this, I was reminded me of a story my friend Angie once told me about her travels to South America.  While visiting there, something strange happened to her.  Angie said that she was visiting a church one Sunday, when she suddenly felt taken over by some spiritual force that she referred to as a higher life force.  Angie had been brought up in church, but had drifted away into the new age teachings.  She believed that Jesus was an ascended being, much like the aliens were.  While she was telling me the story, she recounted that at the church in South America she felt unable to control what she was doing and saying.  She remembered speaking to the congregation with great zeal about the subject of Love.  She told them that Jesus was Love, and that’s all they needed to know–that Love was the path to heaven.  When Angie first told me this story, I assumed the Holy Spirit had given her words to speak.

At that time in the new age, I too was deceived about the difference between the Holy Spirit washing over someone and the false idea of a ‘higher being’ ‘commandeering’ a human body.  They sounded very similar.  I too came to the false conclusion that perhaps these higher beings were really angels after all.  I believed as Angie did, that all one needed to do was to love others and they would go to heaven. So, following that line of thinking, it is then seen as very unloving to talk about sin or repentance. 

I didn’t understand that while it’s true that Jesus is Agape Love, He is also Holy and Righteous.  We have to repent of our sins and go and sin no more if we want to be disciples.  The new age takes one piece of truth and twists it.  This is what is so deceptive. 

Craving to know more about higher beings and the New Earth Theory, I began to fall down a rabbit hole of theories about a topic called ‘Ascension’The new age community called it ‘Ascension 2020’, and it was the same as the New Earth Theory that Delores had talked about.  Researching the topic of ‘ascension’ led me to another new age author named Ruth Montgomery.  Ruth had stated something similar to the new earth theory, and she had also channeled this information from another spirit or higher-being life form.  The ‘being’ told Ruth that there would be a Second Coming much like in the Bible.  The being (and I’m paraphrasing here because I threw the book away after I was saved) said something to the effect of those who vibrate at a higher frequency will be whisked away at the blink of an eye to another planet/dimension.  The others will remain behind.  The detail that grabbed me was that the being also mentioned the existence of the antichrist, and that he is alive today and being groomed for his rise to power.  The being said that the second coming would be much like the Christian view of the event, but it left out the role of Jesus as savior.  Instead of people believing in Jesus to be saved and taken to heaven, a person need only to vibrate at a higher frequency.

Well, all this information really rattled me.  To learn that the metaphysical and new-age end game is the same apocalyptic event as the Bible….EXCEPT these ‘beings’ were going out of their way to remove the figure of Jesus Christ from the whole story.  This really raised my spidey senses.   The resurrection of Jesus has been factually proven in historical text, so to leave him out of the narrative entirely was really weird.  Some other channellers will say that Jesus Christ is the son of God….but that we humans are ALL sons of God.  It’s a very subtle twist to put humans on the same level and power as God.  It diminishes God’s role and elevates man’s role.  That’s the belief of ‘Inner Divinity’ that many new-agers have.

All this new information was mind blowing to me, and it got me frantically researching to find any other theories about the new earth phenomenon.  It was then that I discovered another new age woman talking about this topic, a woman named Esther Hicks from Abraham Hicks-Law of Attraction.  Esther Hicks was a channeller who also claimed a higher spiritual being was speaking to her and through her, and that this being informed her that Jesus was on the same level of all humans.  Esther channeled information that diminishes the role of Jesus to that of ‘just another son of God’ like we all are also sons of God.  The being asserts that we are equals to God because of our inner divine nature.   It’s very subtle, and relegates Jesus Christ to just another ascended master, another extraterrestrial who we need to vibrate high enough to become like him.

So, after learning all this I felt God was wanting me to really open my eyes, but I couldn’t decide yet what to believe.  I remember feeling that I was somehow very close to figuring out something huge about the universe, but I couldn’t quite say what it was at that time.

The Lord would show me much later that these higher beings were nothing more than demons masquerading as angels of light, just the way they pretended to be spirit guides and goddesses, fairies, etc.  Satan is the master of deception, and he can imitate anything…even perform healings to ensnare us to following the false light.  Through all this deception, I began to panic and look for another healer.  I was deceived into thinking another person could heal me spiritually back then because I still hadn’t cried out to Jesus for help. 

I also began to wonder if I should try and find someone who would do what Dolores Cannon does for her clients, a special past life regression technique called Quantum Healing Hypnosis.  This would help me discover if I had any past lives on another planet, and also many patients received physical healings from the higher beings that spoke through them during the sessions.  Naturally, I was very curious about this.  The questions began to plague my mind: Had I been born on another planet? Was I a Starseed? That really would explain a lot about me I guess.

These questions drove me to look online, and I happily discovered that there were several practitioners located near me, but the sessions were very expensive.  After thinking about this for a few weeks, I actually decided not to purchase a session.  Something in me was very nervous about this, so I opted not to go through with it.  However, I still had a nagging feeling that my subconscious held some vital information about my past—something I had blocked out but needed to know.  So, I decided to visit my chiropractor and ask her about all this.

She had been studying Dolores Cannon for years, and had actually learned a similar technique that put the client into a hypnotic state to discover if any trauma was trapped inside the body’s muscle tissue.  The idea was that a person’s mind can block out early childhood trauma, but that the memory is stored on a cellular level in the person’s tissues.  I was very intrigued with this, and felt it could at least tell me if I had undergone any trauma that I had somehow blocked out or repressed.  I decided to schedule the session for a few months from then, during the summer.  My chiropractor didn’t charge quite as much as Dolores Cannon because she was doing simple hypnosis, not quantum healing hypnosis.  Pleased that I was actively searching for self-improvement through a new technique, I looked forward to when I could have this ‘healing’ session done.

I would soon be shown that these healings were nothing more than bondage from Satan.  They seemed to have all the answers, but were a trap to ensnare me into more darkness. 

The Watchmen

The other night, I was getting ready to turn in for sleep..but first I wanted to read my Bible for a bit.  In the last 5 months, I have been reading whole books of the Bible (instead of flipping through it in hopes that God would ‘magically’ send me a word of wisdom).  I learned that flipping through the Bible in this way is called Bibliomancy--essentially treating the Word of God like a tarot deck or any divination device.  So, for the past months I had been learning to read entire chapters and really study the word.  It’s a supernatural book, and when I began to read it..God began to bless me in my heart.  I’ve been taken to new levels in my walk with Christ, and shown areas in my life that He wants to heal and grow me.  There are blessings from reading the Word..and there’s also spiritual warfare against us to do so.  It was surprisingly difficult to sit down and read the Bible…but once I started I began to see the changes in my life.

So like I said…the other night I was comfortable in bed and ready to doze off.  Yet, first I had to read a bit of the book of Isaiah that I was currently studying.  I turned the Bible  to Isaiah, but for some reason one of my ‘bookmarks’ (that’s what I call the bits of paper and notes I stuff in my Bible) had been what I thought was ‘randomly’ placed in another book…and this caused me to ‘accidentally’ turn to Ezekial instead of Isaiah.

Not wanting to have any part with ‘bibliomancy’ as I had in the past, I tried to quickly turn the page back to the book of Isaiah…but the Holy Spirit said to stay on that page.  I felt this nudging to read that page.  Again, I really didn’t want to because I wanted NOTHING to do with treating the Bible like a divination tool.  Yet…God was asking me to read the page…so I did.

I read the words of the book of Ezekial 33:1 that said ‘Renewal of Ezekial’s Call as Watchman’…and I knew God was about to tell me something big.

The book said… “The word of the Lord came to me:  Son of man, speak to your people and say to them:  ‘When I bring the sword against a land, and the people of the land choose one of their men and make him their watchman, and he sees the sword coming against the land and blows the trumpet to warn the people, then if anyone hears the trumpet but does not heed the warning and the sword comes and takes their life, their blood will be on their own head.  Since they heard the sound of the trumpet but did not heed the warning, their blood will be on their own head.  If they had heeded the warning, they would have saved themselves.  But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet to warn the people and the sword comes and takes someone’s life, that person’s life will be taken because of their sin, but I will hold the watchman accountable for their blood.”

As I sat there and read the words, I knew God was speaking to me.  I had been feeling for many months that things were changing in the world.  Wars and rumors of wars, the great falling away of the church with false teachers and seeker friendly apostate churches, occult activities like yoga and rheiki embraced by many churches, men becoming lovers of themselves with self worship, the sex trafficking and abuse of billions of children in this world….and most recently God pouring his Spirit down on us and people dreaming dreams and thousands turning to Jesus after having life changing encounters with the Living God….  This is big guys! Back in 2014/15, God began to pull thousands of people out of occult activities.  There are many testimonies of how God has been pouring out His spirit on the world.  It is quite simply miraculous!

All these signs and more had been tormenting me.  I’ve been seeing the writing on the wall now for many months, yet receiving a clear call from the Lord to warn people was a bit jarring at first.  My stomach dropped to the floor as I began to process what this meant. I’m not claiming to be a prophet of any kind, but God asked me to be a Watchman–which means to me that I have a warning to give.  God wants me to warn others that Judgement is near, and we need to draw close to the Lord and Repent of our sins and any worldliness.  We need to come out of the world and be set apart for the coming hour.  I don’t know how soon or when God’s judgement will come, or how…and again I’m not a prophet.  I just know that God wants me to somehow warn others that Judgement is real and to be prepared for it.  

I wrestled with this for a few days, and prayed for the Lord to show me how to warn people and what message to give them.

Nobody knows when the events will begin, but after receiving this Word from the Lord I learned there are other Watchmen receiving this exact same Word. This was confirmed for me by the witness of other brothers and sisters in Christ. 

I got the sense that God was telling me I had to warn everyone that He was about to show up in a big way, and that it was time to come out of the world.

If you have not given your life to Jesus…you didn’t visit this site by accident.  Talk to God now.  Repent of your sins and ask Him to show you Who He is.  God will never abandon you if you truly seek Him with all your heart.

 

The Watchmen

New Age Rapture

Back in the spring of 2014, I attended my first and only UFO Conference.  A friend bought me the ticket as a treat, and we headed off to a neighboring state to attend a two day weekend event of lectures.  I was excited at the time, even though I wasn’t a big alien believer per se.  My friend wasn’t either, but he had always wanted to go to an UFO convention.  He was very excited about seeing one speaker in particular, a woman named Dolores Cannon.  Dolores Cannon is deceased, but at the time she was considered the ‘pioneering grandmother of hypnotherapy,’ and not just any hypnotherapy.  Dolores practiced a type of past life regression that involved connecting to what she called The Source–ascended beings, otherwise known as aliens or higher life forms.  This was a big ‘get’, having Dolores Cannon on the speaker list.  I had heard of this woman before through my chiropractor, who ardently admired Dolores’s work.

At the time, I had no idea what God had planned for that weekend, and that this conference would be the beginning of my coming back to Jesus.  The first day of lectures was on Saturday, and it was what any novice would expect, a toe dipping introduction into extra terrestrial theories and accounts.  It was fun, a bit like an episode of The X-Files. The final day of the conference was Sunday, but after another full morning of lectures I pretty much had my fill after the lunch break.  It had been an interesting weekend, and I bought a pretty ring from one of the vendors who sold various metaphysical and ET (extraterrestrial) paraphernalia…but I was ready to head home.  Dolores Cannon still hadn’t presented, so my friend wanted to stay and hear her.  I didn’t really know much about her at the time, just that she was a big deal and very respected.  I still didn’t really care one way or the other if I heard her present, and I had firmly decided that I wanted to head home.  I was on my way to tell my friend I was leaving, when a particular sign caught my eye.  The sign said ‘New Earth’, and it had a picture of planet earth on it.  Although I wasn’t sure what this sign meant, I remembered learning a little about the book of Revelation in the Bible, and I knew that part of the second coming of Jesus involved a new heaven and a new earth.  This was the tribulation story, the Rapture event.  Without trying to sound dramatic, I felt very drawn to this sign.  I knew I had to either buy this book or figure out what this theory was.  I walked downstairs to the vender room with all the booths of alien literature and trinkets.  I scanned the tables for any sign of a book about a New Earth, and couldn’t find any.  Irritated, I went back upstairs to the main conference room to rejoin my friend.  I wanted to quickly ask him if he knew anything about this new earth theory before I headed back home.  When I opened the door to the main conference room, I saw that Dolores Cannon was on the stage!  I decided to stay and hear her lecture.  My first impression of her was that she seemed particularly cranky that day.  I wasn’t sure what I had been expecting, but I guess I thought she would be a sweet old lady.  She was very professional, but she snapped at a couple audience members and seemed to belittle their questions in my opinion.  So, I wasn’t hugely impressed.  For the second time, I had decided that I was about ready to leave…but then low and behold Dolores started talking about the New Earth.  Okay, I had to stay and hear this….

She began to talk about vibrations…and to understand what that means,  let me first give you some back story as to her work as a hypnotherapist.  In her books, she shares detailed accounts of her past life regression work upon individuals who, while under hypnosis, have confessed that their past lives were not on planet earth.  As her clients undergo hypnosis, they begin to recount their past lives.  It is at this point where another voice begins speaking, and communicates with Dolores.  Dolores then begins asking the new voice questions, and the voice claims to be a higher life form from another planet.  So Dolores interviews the higher beings while the person is under hypnosis.  Her books are accounts of what the beings tell her.  Well, now here’s where my details are fuzzy because I attended this conference many years ago.  If I remember correctly,  Dolores was told by a higher being that there would be a huge cosmic shift very soon.  Human kind would be forever changed.  Essentially, a new earth would be created from the old earth..much like another dimension.  The old earth would still exist, but those who vibrated at a high enough frequency and focused on positive emotions and thoughts (happiness, bliss, love) would be transported to the new earth.  Those who insisted on dwelling in pain and negativity (low vibrations), would stay behind in the old earth.  The role extraterrestrials were to play in this would be to usher the higher vibrational humans to the new dimension.  We were to watch for the alien encounters.  I think that’s the gist of her message that day.  Well, at the time this really piqued my interest.  My friend wasn’t as impressed as I was, and I think he had a bit more skepticism about the whole theory.  However, I was fascinated!  This sounded very similar to the Christian idea of the Rapture, and I felt drawn to knowing more about end times prophecies.

After arriving back home,  I became obsessed with the idea that perhaps I had come from another planet originally, as Dolores spoke about. The UFO Conference had sparked a whole new part of my spiritual path.  I began to research this idea.  I read some pdf excerpts of Dolores’s books, and my chiropractor loaned me one of hers as well.   I loved the idea that I was descended from another planet, that I was what the new age called a ‘Star Person’.  This would explain why I had special gifts and felt out of place in the world.  The new age talks a lot about Indigo Children as well, children with special gifts who are supposed to raise the vibration of humanity upwards.  There are many theories about this.  I read one of Delores’s  theories about what is called ‘Walk-Ins’, and the idea is that the higher beings, sometimes for lack of a better term, ‘comandeer’ a human body who can no longer deal with the pain from their traumatic childhoods.    This really scared me, but I was still curious and wanted to know more.  I thought it sounded a bit like demonic possession though.  Some of the stories online about alien visitations sounded terrifying to be perfectly honest, but Dolores’s clients said it was all part of the human evolution.  Some souls had signed up for a traumatic life to learn certain lessons for their soul’s evolution, and they needed painful events to learn.

Well, all this was pretty wild for me to learn about.  The whole New Earth theory also led me to another author named Ruth Montgomery.  She said something similar, and had channeled the information from a spirit or higher being life form.  The being told Ruth that there would be a Second Coming much like in the Bible.  The being (and I’m paraphrasing here because I threw the book away after I was saved) said something to the effect of those who vibrate at a higher frequency will be whisked away at the blink of an eye to another planet/dimension.  The others will remain behind.  The detail that grabbed me was that the being also mentioned the existence of the antichrist, and that he is alive today and being groomed for his rise to power.  The being said that the second coming would be much like the Christian view of the event, but it left out the role of Jesus as savior.  Instead of people believing in Jesus to be saved and taken to heaven, a person need only to vibrate at a higher frequency.

This really rattled me, I gotta tell you.  To learn that the metaphysical and new-age end game is the same apocalyptic event as the Bible….EXCEPT these ‘beings’ were going out of their way to remove the figure of Jesus Christ from the whole story.  This really raised my spidey senses.   The resurrection of Jesus has been factually proven in historical text, so to leave him out of the narrative entirely was really weird.  Some other channellers will say that Jesus Christ is the son of God….but that we humans are ALL sons of God.  It’s a very subtle twist to put humans on the same level and power as God.  It diminishes God’s role and elevates man’s role.  That’s the belief of ‘Inner Divinity’ that many new agers have.  The channeller Esther Hicks from Abraham Hicks-Law of Attraction, also has a being that speaks to her, and the being also diminishes the role of Jesus to that of ‘just another son of God’ like we all are also sons of God.  The being asserts that we are equals to God because of our inner divine nature.   It’s very subtle, and relegates Jesus Christ to just another ascended master, another extraterrestrial who we need to vibrate high enough to become like him.

So, after learning all this I felt God was wanting me to really open my eyes.

 

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.–Jeremiah 29:13

 

That’s what I had always been doing, trying to find Jesus…but at the time I was convinced the Bible was corrupt, or had been tampered with.  Could it be true that I had been deceived this whole time, I thought?  This was the very first time I genuinely considered the idea that the Bible really WAS the true word of God, that the church had it right all along.  I mean, if there was a second coming afterall….and even the new age believed this…I wanted to find out the TRUTH.

Finally,  my heart was opened enough for Jesus to speak to me.  This was the beginning of my search for Jesus.

Soon after my conversion (7 months later), which I will post in another blog (The Snare of Anger–Chapter 29)…the Holy Spirit began to show me that aliens were no more than satan’s deception.  They were demons masquerading as Ascended beings and masters, and guides, and beings of light.  These were all part of the deception to keep people from finding out the truth so they would focus on keeping their vibration at a high enough frequency so they would not be left behind.  The truth is that Jesus is the only way to the Father.  Jesus wants to show us the truth, but we have to have a soft enough heart and be truly asking for guidance in order for Him to show us.  We have a beautiful gift of free will, and so unless we ask Jesus for his help in showing us the truth….it’s very easy to fall prey to the god of this world, lucifer–the father of lies.  There are so many half truths in the new age, things that are meant to be very seductive and sound very true.  They are part of satan’s twisted world, and meant to deceive, keep you in spiritual bondage with scales over our eyes.

If you’re reading  this and searching for truth, please know you are not alone.  Praying for Jesus to show you the plan for your life and to show you the truth is the first step to knowing who you were created to be.

Jesus showed me that there truly is a war for our souls.  It is real.

If you have any questions, feel free to email me.  There are repentance prayers you might need to rebuke the enemy.  Many of us who have left new age deception are subject to spiritual warfare, and need deliverance prayers.  I posted one below.

I hope this post blesses someone today.

 

Repentance Prayer

Here is a link to a battle prayer for those going through demonic oppression.  The article mentions that you can pray alone, but you also might need a pastor.   Another piece to this is confessing all of your sins and listing them (including all involvement in the occult and listing it specifically), and forgiving your enemies and those who have wronged you or hurt you in your past (including childhood abuse).

******HOWEVER, I would warn you against seeking out a ‘deliverance minister’. These deliverance ministries have yielded bad fruit for me and many others. I would simply pray to Jesus, and if you feel led to find a pastor to pray over you, then that’s a good thing. I just want to warn anyone about deliverance prayers that involve someone else casting demons out of you. Many have had bad experiences with this.*******

https://www.bible-knowledge.com/prayer-legal-rights/

 

 

Alien Abductions are stopped by calling on the name of Jesus!

Welcome to Alien Resistance

 

 

Below are some videos for you.  The first one is about alien abductions and the demonic realm.

 

Here’s a video below for further study on the accuracy of the Bible.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spiritual Attacks

When I was 19 years old, I had my first spiritual attack.  I was taking a nap,  and suddenly I felt a heavy weight on my chest. I couldn’t breathe or wake up.  I had been raised as a Christian, and taught to call on the name of Jesus if anything like this happened..but as it often happens in nightmares, I was frozen in silence.  A stereotypical shadowy figure appeared to the right side of the bed.  I finally struggled to squeak out “In the name of Jesus Christ, Flee!”  The image was instantly gone, and I was awake..but my hands were pressing very firmly against my neck, and I woke up choking myself.  This was the first time I knew there was a dark spiritual realm.  At the time, I didn’t think much of it.  I heard some people call my experience a ‘Night Terror’, but I was there..and I wasn’t satisfied with that explanation.  The other piece to this story is that as a young child, I had been erroneously taught that a person only gets attacked when they are religious, so I thought I would be safe if I stopped praying.  So, after this choking attack, I strayed even further from God, ironically trying to avoid danger.  This, of course led me down a much more spiritually dangerous path.

The second attack happened when I was in my late 20s, and it was again while I was asleep. I woke up, and the first thing I saw were small dark figures scurrying up the wall very fast, and then they were gone.  I was sleeping on my stomach, and I looked to my right, and saw a giant man in a rocking chair. He was wearing a white suit, and had white hair. I thought he was an angel at the time, but he scared me.  My first thought was that I didn’t particularly enjoy having a giant man in a rocking chair in my bedroom, but I was reminded of when I was a little girl and my mom told me I saw a man in our backyard dressed all in white, with a white suit and white hair.  So, thinking this giant man in my bedroom was an angel, I didn’t get too scared.  Knowing what I know now, I suspect this entity to be a demon.  satan does appear as an angel of light to confuse us.   This was my first experience with that.  Something I don’t understand about this attack was that my cat was sitting firmly on my back, and refused to move.  I’ve wondered about this ever since. I still believe my cat saw the dark entities, and was trying to protect me.  Please don’t get me wrong, I don’t think my cat has any power whatsoever to protect me from demons.  I did at the time though.  I still find it an endearing story that maybe she wanted to protect me.  Another interesting thing about this attack was that it happened the night before I was set to move to Seattle.  Seattle has a high concentration of divination and wiccan followers.  I had been drawn to living there as well.  Leading up to this move, I had been curious about tarot and psychic powers for some time, and  had been studying the cards, with all their symbolism. These were ancient symbols, that had many meanings in our subconscious I was told.  I never suspected these symbols could be dangerous.  I also started reading Marion Zimmer Bradley’s book ‘The Mists of Avalon’, and I became very interested in the idea of ‘The Goddess’.  I decided to buy some Runes for divination as well.  I finally felt like I was in control of my own destiny. I didn’t have as much anxiety any more because I could do a reading for myself about my future. I never suspected the tarot deck wasn’t telling the truth.

The third time I was attacked was really scary,  but I didn’t see any dark entities this time.  Instead, I was attacked in my thoughts. I was living with roomates in Seattle, and I remember feeling like something sinister wanted me to cut my wrists with the kitchen knives. I recognized this attack on my thoughts, even at that time. I called on Jesus and it stopped, but I was still triggered and afraid.  I had no faith at the time, just the knowledge that the name of Jesus was powerful.  A few months later, I saw another white light entity.  The entity had flowing hair like silver wind, and I thought maybe it was a goddess of some sort.  I had no idea that demons masquerade as angels of light.  I had no idea that satan can trick us like that.  I remember thinking this vision of a light being was confirmation I was on the right path in seeking the goddess. I thought the vision came from God.

The fourth time I was attacked, was when I had just turned 30.  I was still living in Seattle, and I had just bought a new tarot deck from a metaphysical bookstore.  I had an uncomfortable feeling about the deck because it seemed to work better than any other deck that I’d had.  I felt that it had some sort of life of its own, so to speak.  A few weeks later in the middle of the night, I had another dream where I couldn’t wake up and I couldn’t breathe.   I had a harder time calling on Jesus, as I hadn’t been close to God since I was in my teens.  I finally called out “Jesus help me”, and I woke up.  This time I wasn’t choking myself,  but instead I was face down with my head in the pillow.  I was gasping for air, almost smothered.  This attack really got under my skin.  Being that I was in the new age, and didn’t go to church at the time, I called the store where I bought the tarot deck.  I asked the store owner about spiritual attacks and what she thought I should do.  She seemed really uncomfortable discussing it, but I was persistent.  She finally suggested that I cut up the deck into tiny pieces, and say the name ‘Archangel Michael’ for protection.  I was relieved to have a course of action, and I remember feeling like I was in control of the attacks for the first time.   I didn’t know of course that this was not enough to protect me, and that the attacks would get far worse when I tried to leave the new age.

A couple months later, I moved back home to my midwestern town.  Since I had taken a tarot course while living up in Seattle,  I felt ready to start a business in my hometown where I would read professionally for clients.  I read from home and at corporate events, and experienced some success.  I  had several clients and friends who were fascinated by the readings and would call me a ‘seer.’  I remember feeling like finally God had blessed me with this gift to help others.  I had learned all about charging my tarot deck with crystals, cleansing it from psychic energies by burying it or placing it outside during a full moon.  I learned about keeping it under my pillow to absorb my own energy.  I never once thought of it as some sort of portal to the spirit world, even though now I know that’s exactly what it was.  I believed the lie:  that we all are born knowing our path, and that our higher self has this wisdom.  I didn’t suspect the higher self was a lie,  and that satan loves to use these things to appear as truth.  I saw other Christian psychics or Christian tarot readers using angel decks, so I thought it was all fine.

Flash forward several years later. I had progressed in my spiritual path, and had begun calling myself a Christian witch.  I wanted to blend my belief in Jesus with the occult.  I had no idea that was not the way.  I was desperately searching for the truth about God, but felt the church did not have any answers.  They would just be mean or judgemental.  I had some unpleasant experiences at a church when I was a child where I was forced to speak in tongues, and I also had a babysitter who called me a slut for wearing a mini skirt.  So, like a lot of people do, I swore off all churches because of this.  I felt anger towards Christians, and this anger began to grow.  I was trying to heal from trauma in my childhood, and so I had been practicing  Tai Chi, and had received Reiki healing sessions, and any other energy healing I saw.  I never suspected satan would hijack this or deceive someone who was trying to find God.  I got into something called map healing, which was opening a channel to heal yourself, and you would call in different spirits for a personal energy session. I had no clue how dangerous that was. I then decided to form something called a goddess circle, which was basically a coven.  I formed the coven with some of my tarot clients.  We felt like we were doing spells to empower us.  I did spells for a couple years with these two women and one other group.  I felt like I was finally liberated and doing something mystical and fascinating.  I was also calling psychics weekly, and always asking when I would find love.  After a couple years, I felt tired of all the spells and ‘manifesting’ good things in my life.  It all started to drain me.  I decided to move out of my town to stay with my mother in the country.  This marked the beginning of my new life.  I remember the day everything changed. My 39th birthday.

 

I hadn’t said a real prayer that wasn’t a spell in many years. If I did, the prayer was always something I wanted and hoped God would send to me, a specific outcome. This time instead, I prayed :

God my life isn’t working. Please make me into the woman YOU wanted me to be. I’m done.”

 

I had asked for God’s will, instead of my own.  I had never done that before.  I had to get to that place where I acknowledged that my will wasn’t making me happy, and that God’s will was perfect.  If I truly wanted to find my identity and the truth about God, I had to ask for His help.  That changed everything, but it took a while.

A year later, I gave my life to Jesus one day (that’s a whole separate story I talk about in Chapter 29 of my blog), but even after I was born-again I experienced spiritual warfare in a different way. Satan attacks strongly when someone leaves the occult.  The attacks were against my mind and mental state, trying to get me to be hateful or angry towards my mom, trying to get me to feel crazy, and trying to lure me right back into occult practices.  I was able to recognize these thought attacks for what they were and rebuke them in Jesus’s name.  My mom was the only parent I had left, and if I drove her away I would be totally alone; Satan knew all this.  The attacks on my mind had a lot of power this time.  I was afraid I would actually lose my sanity for a bit there.  That’s when I knew I needed to find a church.  I had broken my foot two separate times, and couldn’t drive myself, so I had my mom drive me to church.  The minute I went to church and began to lift my voice in praise to Jesus…the attacks on my mind all stopped.  JUST STOPPED.

After church, I confessed all my sins of dabbling in the occult, asked forgiveness for each of them, and repented from them.  I repented of all the sins of spiritism: (tarot, energy work, reiki, witchcraft, even tai chi, yoga, and meditation).  I did rebuking prayers.  I read my Bible, and a year later I was baptized.

It took years for the anger to be healed and for the sanctification process to be complete, but that’s another blog for another day.  I had a lot to learn from the Holy Spirit, and that took time.  It’s a daily walk with Jesus now.

I’m writing this blog now because I thought I was all alone going through the demonic attacks.  A few years later, I found out that God had been pulling others out of new age deception.  I’m writing this blog to let you know that: wherever you are, you are not alone in this.  Demons are real, and there is a war for your soul.  It’s all true.  God is bringing people out of satanic deception.  Jesus cares about you and wants to help.  You only have to ask Him for help, and He will!  He has specific plan for your life!

If you want extra online support: There is an online group on facebook called Reasons for Jesus.  It’s helpful to have support when you first get out of this deception. I recommend finding a church that is safe.  There’s deception in the church as well with false prophets.  Pray the Holy Spirit will give you discernment to know, and read your Bible.  The word of God is protection.

You will go through a gradual sancification process, and hopefully no one will judge you for that.  If they do, keep praying and drawing closer to Jesus.  Walking as a disciple of Jesus isn’t about other Christians, just about following God.

There are also some youtube videos that former new-age author, Doreen Virtue has done to help those exiting the new age.  Jesus really does love you and pursued you! You are protected from attacks by the armor of God:  Ephesians 6:11:   I say it out loud every day.  You will need this armor.

When you ask Jesus to be the Lord of your life, and you acknowledge He is the son of God, you need to repent and confess your involvement in the occult. Confessing sins and repenting (turning away from sins) is part of asking forgiveness and letting the Holy Spirit indwell in you and make you a new creation in Christ.  Another piece of resisting the devil is forgiving your enemies and those who have wronged you or hurt you in your past (including childhood abuse). This takes time, and God will help you with this. All these things remove spiritual bondage and strongholds (demonic oppression), and as long as you stop sinning (drinking, drugs, fornication) the devil will flee from you. God will be sanctifying you, and like layers of an onion the Lord will show you all areas where you need to surrender to God’s will instead of your own will. This takes time. You don’t have to be perfect, just listen to the Lord and read your Bible. Finding a good church is very important in your walk with the Lord. You need to let God direct you as to which church is safe and has good theology, and this also takes time…but you need to be at church.

 

****I would warn against seeking out ‘Deliverance Minister’s’ to cast demons out of you. Myself and many others have had bad experiences with this, and this is very similar to new age witchcraft. If God is leading you to have someone bind the devil and pray over you, please find a good minister or visit the new age to Jesus groups online. There will be someone there willing to pray with you. You don’t need an elaborate ritual to be freed from demonic strongholds. Jesus will break those chains of the enemy, but having a pastor pray with you to bind satan is always a good thing.*****

 

 

Thank you for reading and I hope this blesses someone today!